Which is a better movie? Camp Rock 2 Or Ewoks 2?

Two households, both alike in dignity. This question has ignited fierce debate among scholars for decades. Which movie is superior? The Disney Channel’s sequel TV movie musical: Camp rock 2: Final Jam? Or the classic and very well known 1985 instalment into the esteemed Star Wars franchise: Ewoks: Battle for Endor?

Well dear reader… I have an answer. I have The answer. And the answer is… at the end of a couple more paragraphs that I need to fill out for content. I’m sure you understand.

This weekend I watched two movies. Camp rock 2, and Ewoks 2. I was browsing disney+ and I was in the mood for some bad movies. I watch a lot of bad movies. I enjoy a lot of bad movies (Pacific Rim is not included in this. Pacific Rim is a good movie). So when I saw Camp rock 2: Final Jam, my first thought was “Wow they made a second camp rock movie and didn’t tell me?”. My second thought was “Wow they had absolutely no intention of making a third camp rock movie. They basically named it Camp Rock: Endgame”. And my third thought was “I’m gonna watch this even though I remember exactly nothing about the first camp rock movie other than that Demi Lovato and The Jonas Brothers are in it”.

So I sat through that whole experience. It was…… decent? I was expecting it to be worse than it was. It wasn’t good per-say, but it was a generally inoffensive children’s musical movie. There are only 2 good songs, which is about par for the course, but I don’t remember what those two songs were. Demi Lovato’s character is insufferable. Kevin Jonas carries the whole movie by being the only sincere or emotionally intelligent character. Allison Stoner is there and I continue to wish she got some main character roles at some point in her Disney career cause I always liked her when she showed up in things.

The second movie I watched was also on Disney+. Ewoks: Battle for Endor. A direct to TV movie from 1985 which follows a soon-to-be-orphaned-in-the-first-ten-minutes little girl named Cindel, and her best friend, Wicket the Ewok. It was recently brought out of the vault and remastered for the streaming service. If I remember the IMDB page correctly, this is the first time you’ve actually been able to watch it on-demand. Before you had to just have seen it on TV when it aired or something. And oh what an opportunity it is to be able to watch this film!
Just kidding it sucks. Wow this movie is bad. I hated it. Camp Rock 2 was a pretty lukewarm experience start to finish, but this movie was just ice cold with a few fleeting moments of warmth that only serve to remind you how cold it is when they’re gone.

Oh also Ewoks: Battle for Endor is apparently a sequel. So thats cool. They made two of these things. The first one is called The Ewok Adventure, and is apparently also about Cindel. I wouldn’t have known it was a sequel if I didn’t get bored at minute 35 and decide to read the IMDB page (You know a movie is bad if you’re just reading the IMDB page instead of watching it)

Aubree Miller, who plays the main character, Cindel, is not a very good child actor. I don’t know if that’s too mean to say, but it’s true. She’s 42 years old now, she can handle it. It makes the whole thing very hard to watch. When most scenes in this movie are just Cindel, who can’t talk, talking to Wicket, who is mono-syllabic, it makes it hard to find nice things to say.
The plot isn’t a star wars plot. It could be any generic fantasy setting if you subbed the laser guns for magic wands. The evil witch character gets close to being interesting, but instead of being a good sith lord with some wacky force powers, she’s kinda just a typical evil witch character. Not even established as being a force user!
Movie is boring. Moving on.

So which is the better movie??

Camp Rock 2! Wow! How was Camp Rock 2 the better of two movies I watched this weekend! Why do I do this to myself! AAAAAAA

– Robert Hill